Markus' Birth Story for Simon

I got "the call" on Monday at 2pm. I took the bus home and squared away the dogs. I brought Pago to her kennel and dropped Einstein off at Sherri’s. Things were already different and I could tell I was excited. Normally, I bring the dog bed and go inside and chat a while, but this time I walked Steiner back to the gate and left. Liz and I went home and even managed to get a night’s sleep that night.

The next day things went well, although I thought Liz went over board with making apts. By the time we were done with breakfast we had an appointment with the midwife, her friend Chris, the acupuncturist and an ultrasound. There was a scheduling mix up with the midwife, and she wasn't there. She got checked and swept at Chris' and made it to the acupuncturist with plenty of time. Things started to pick up after that. So much so that we canceled the last apt.

Things were progressing normally from my perspective, but I didn't have any real frame of reference so even if they were not I would have thought they were. My adrenaline was pumping like I had a couple cups of coffee. Over all I was calm and going though all the comfort measures in my mind and trying them one at a time to see what was working. I was a little nervous as I didn't want to do the wrong thing and it turned out Liz's two favorites were the third eye press, and lower back pressure. So I decided to stick with those for the majority of the time and a new one here and there in between.

Jessie, our doula, called about the time Liz's contractions were at 10 min apart. She was still at another birth and was just calling to see how things were going. The second time she called the contractions were irregular and between 5-10 min apart but getting more intense. Jessie said she could come over now, or in two hours. I told her Liz was doing fine, after checking with Liz of course, and that she could come in 2 hours. Just as we were hanging up Liz one of her more intense and strong contractions. I called Jessie
back in about 5min asking her to come over now.

Jessie got here and that was a relief. As it turned out my mind was kind of blanking on some of the other comfort measures and I was running out of ideas. I don't think Liz noticed. One of the first things Jessie did was to rub her feet. I was shocked that I had forgotten that one, but after the initial shock lots of the others came back to me and I regained a sense of purpose and confidence.

Liz's contractions were getting stronger but staying about 5-7 min apart and we called Catherine. She sent over a Carissa to check on Liz. She determined that Liz was still at 2 cm and that seemed to put a stress in the room. I didn't know if that was good or bad, but I felt concerned. Liz wanted her water broken, and I thought, “Noooooooooo,” but kept my mouth shut. Seemed too early to me but as itwas I was the one with the least experience in the room. Carissa offered to and did call Catherine. At one point she offered to let Liz speak with here, and Liz said something to the effect that if Catherine wanted to talk to here she could come down here in person. SNAP! That was around 8pm and Catherine said she was in a meeting and would be there by 10.

True to her word, Catherine was there by 10. This was perfect timing as it gave Liz a little time to change her mind. Catherine said she would be willing to break her water but felt that that would put us on a count down timer, and that she felt we should probably wait a little while before we did that. Much to my relief, Liz agreed. I was still wide awake and we proceeded as before Liz with getting checked every few hours.

As night turned into early morning and excitement, anxiety, fear, joy, happiness eventualy gave way to exhaustion. I ate a little and drank some juice and that made things worse. By this time (3am ish) Liz had gone from shower to tub, to birth ball, to bed, to standing, to squatting, and back to bed. I was lying next to her and Jessie was at our feet, most likely twice as exhausted as I was. The contractions seemed to slow a bit naturally and I got little mini-cat naps 3-4min apart. Not sure if it helped but it's what we got.

The next big thing I remember was the sun coming up-6ish. Liz got checked again and had made a ton of progress (6cm) which was a major relief to me. I immediately started to get excited thinking I'd see Simon some time in the next 4-6 hours.

About that much time later (9:30ish) we had only gotten 1 more centimeter and Catherine and Liz decided that breaking her water wouldbe a good thing to do. I was watching the procedure expecting a big gush was about to come out but very little did. For the next hour or so, most of the rest of the water did come out. The breaking of the water was my next surge of excitement, that came from my anticipation that NOW things were really going to happen and fast.

The contractions were getting even stronger but Liz was showing the 20 odd hours of labor. She was exhausted and so was I. I got a little energy from the sun being up and started to get nervous again as she was getting check regularly without much progress to show for what was surely a lot of painful effort. As helpless as I was to speed up the birth process, I still felt I had a job to do and as such still a purpose. Do whatever I could to support Liz, in any way she needed. Keep the birth tub warm, gentle touch, massage, words of encouragement. By this point it was clear that she had a much higher pain threshold than I did and was the most courageous person I have known.

Around noon things looked like they had stalled out. Liz had got up to 7cm and holding. Catherine suggested using the breast pump as a means to stimulate more frequent contractions. I didn't see the connection, but it didn't take me long to see it. Liz had a pump on for maybe a minute tops and bang, a huge one hit. It didn't take long and I was back up to my same feelings of excitement for an imminentbirth.

Four hours later and almost a centimeter more I was starting to worry about Liz. The language Catherine was using was changing. Kit, her assistant, was checking Simon every 30 min. and true to form he was a trouper. His heart rate never indicated that he was under stress. Kit did a great job, checking Simon before and after contractions. When I started to get nervous again, I would watch Kit's face with twice the intensity I would have reserved for players in a poker game. Looking for any tell, or sign that things might not be a hundred percent perfect. If there were any signs, Kit never let it show.

About four, or four thirty, the decision was made to transfer to Providence. It was at this time I "lost" it. We didn't have a go-bag and I had not really discussed this beyond that it was a possibility and depending on the situation we would go to 1 of three different hospitals. I grabbed my work bag as I knew it had my laptop, water, and insulated cup we could use for ice. Catherine suggested I don't forget our camera, so I grabbed that bag, too. Catherine, Liz and myself piled into her Subaru and headed out for Providence. I wasn't sure I should be driving, but I was still the obvious choice. At the second stop light on 82nd I did my little adrenaline check, holding out my hand to see if it is shaking. To my surprise it was relatively steady.

We got to the hospital and our nurse Summer, who was great, started to hook Liz up with a fetal monitor and another monitor for her. I started to feel not needed. Liz was going to get some pitocin and an epidural. I started to think about the movie "The Business of Being Born" and thought, here we go on the cycle, more pit = increase epidural = increased pit = increased epidural until it gets to the point where we need a c-section. It was all baseless, but it was what I was thinking. The Dr. came in soon, and both Liz and Catherine filled him in on the previous 24 hours. After her initial visit with the doc, and getting hooked with the epidural, fluids and pit pump I stated to think again (6pm). I thought the baby would be here soon. I even called my parents to tell my dad that Simon probably wasn't going to wait for his birthday to be on 4/1.

Things progressed slowly and eventually we got past the 7cm and even 8cm. Hope and Rebecca who had really held things together brought over
some pasta for me, which was huge as I was more hungry than I realized (yet again). The hours passed and I still had nowhere near as an active roll as I did while we were at home. It didn't feel great but Liz was being well cared for and making good progress.

About 10pm the real pushing started. Liz got herself situated and Catherine and the nurse were holding her legs in a position where she can push easier. I sat by her head and got up with every push to see what was happening. In between every contraction I tried to give her as much positive encouragement as I could. At some point, I'm not sure what triggered it, but Catherine had to stop lifting Liz's leg, maybe it was intentional I'm not sure. Regardless of why, I immediately stepped in and started to hold her leg. Soon I could see the very top of Simons' head. The doctor was working to turn him slightly as he was not in a perfect position. Before I knew it, the doc was telling Liz to reach down and deliver her baby. There was meconium everywhere, but Simon showed no signs of distress. Simon was crying instantly and he was cleaned up a little and placed on her chest. I was so full of joy at seeing everyone healthy I teared up and let out a little "Hi, Buddy!" which was very "me" according to Hope, and I agree.

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Part 2: I Guess since we are only doing it once, we may as well do it all!

Pre-Ramble

This is a different type of birth story. This is the midwife side of my brain story, the one with a time line and some facts and events. It actually took me a while after the birth to figure this version out. Which, actually, I’m totally proud of, because that means that for most of my labor I was in Laborland-working hard, focused, giving up as much control as I could and not concentrating (too much) on the clock. One of my fears about labor, was that I wouldn’t be able to enter that place. I was concerned I would hyper-focus on time. At some junctures I did need to pull my attention into time passing, especially as things slowed and eventually stalled. But when I asked how much time had passed or what time it was, I was always very surprised. One of the most salient ideas I had during pregnancy was amusingly from my Prenatal Yoga Video, “Where there is no mind, there is no time.”

However, after the birth it was important to me to put the timetable together, to see what the journey had looked like from the outside. I treasure the internal world I had for labor and will not replace those hazy memories with a "then this and then that” version, but I do like to know how the series of events unfolded. My doula, Jesse, was invaluable in this process. Throughout labor she kept a record of time and events and at her postpartum visit we were able to talk and process what had happened. She was also amazing in providing the most awesome photos.

So let us begin….

Maybe not exactly at the beginning, but a few days before. As my due date came and went the possibility of going to 42 weeks and the ultimate thing I resisted, hospital induction, (to me much more terrifying than a cesarean delivery because a csec would come if absolutely necessary, a hospital induction would be like a flogging to me). I had been getting acupuncture (at Blossom Clinic, Liz Richards was my acupuncurist though I saw Kine Fiscler on the day labor started because Liz wasn’t in the clinic) regularly and as I went past my due date I was going twice a week. On Monday, I had my midwife friend Chris check me and was 1 cm/70% effaced and “low, low, oh my gosh the baby’s head is right there” low. She also swept as best she could and then I went off for major acupuncture followed by a major labor stimulation massage from Lori Reising (again of Blossom Clinic). They really worked their mojo on me and by the time I was leaving I was starting to have some good contractions. I was so sure things were happening, I even called Markus from the table in between acupuncture and massage to come home and take the dogs to the their respective labor refuges.

When I got home I gave my doula a call and she said to be in touch. We talked about how the full moon was rising so it had to be soon! Ten minutes later, Jesse called back, here other client was in labor, it had to be the fault of the full moon! She gave me the number of her back up just in case. I took the news well but felt really disappointed. We had spent a lot of time with Jesse during the pregnancy and it would be hard to switch gears to someone I didn’t know. That evening the contractions spaced out and we went to bed and slept all night.

I woke up in the morning feeling disappointed. I had an apt with Catherine and was looking forward to seeing her and checking in and getting checked. Markus stayed home from work and we headed over there. When we got there, as the first patient of the morning, the receptionist was surprised…we’d been misscheduled! No one was going to be in the office that day. I talked to Catherine and we arranged for an ultrasound to check fetal well-being (as I was one week past my due date I needed to be reassured). Catherine also gave me the name of Kine to see if she could work me in for some last minute acupuncture. I also called my friend Chris. Within ½ hour I had a time for Chris to check me, an acupuncture apt (Kine went out of her way, juggling day care and starting her day early), and an ultrasound apt. At some point early in the morning I checked in with Jesse, my doula, and she knew that things were wrapping up with her other client and she had gotten ‘some’ good sleep.

Chris checked me and I was 2cm and she swept again. An hour later I was in the middle of acupuncture and getting some good whopping contractions. By the time we were in the car driving home, I knew that these things had done what they were meant to and I was canceling the ultrasound as I was in labor!

We got home and Markus made what was to be my real last meal for 36 hours-grilled cheese! Thank goodness we picked something substantial. The contractions were coming regularly and I was coping well. Around 3pm Jesse called to say she could come over now or in a couple of hours. Initially, I thought it would be fine to wait a couple of hours, but I had a whopper of a contraction that nearly sent me to my knees and I immediately had Markus call Jesse back and ask her to come. She said she’d heard the last contraction and wasn’t surprised. She promptly turned the car around and headed our way. She got here at 4pm and that is when I officially start the clock on my labor.

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